Knock Knock, it’s me Uncle Sam: I am sure you know by now that US unemployment is at its highest levels since the great depression. But did you also know that I am in need of hiring half a million talented individuals as soon as possible?

Citizens of the great state of Michigan, rich in American history, why are you not applying for my jobs? You led the American automobile revolution and now you have the opportunity to lead the green job revolution. 15% of your residents are seeking jobs and I have them. I know my hiring process is broken, but if you come and work with me, together we can fix this deficiency. Did you also know that the benefits I offer often surpass those of the private sector?

Are you interested in going to grad school? If so, I can help through my generous education stipends. Do you want quality health insurance with minimal premiums? If yes, I am your man. Looking for 4 day work weeks with various flex time options to minimize travel expenses and protect our environment? I can easily be reached 24/7 at www.usajobs.gov.

I have been working on your behalf for almost 200 years and now I need your help. The social security administration estimates by 2041, they will only be able to pay out 78% of required retiree benefits. Is this how you want your retirement to be spent? I could use some innovative ideas to ensure the benefits remain at 100%. Do you have the needed creativity?

The pain of having these jobs unfilled has caused my hair to gray. Help me rebuild our economy and protect our future by coming and working for the federal government.